Ah my friends, my comrades or maybe better, my brothers. How much do I know of you? Each of you... Some, I rather I suffer from a memory lost as I have known much more than I ever wanted. Others, I wish I spent the time to know each of you better. I never said anything to anyone openly throughout the time we've know each other, except recently where I think it is crucial for us to know our own weakness so we could improve ourselves. The future is no longer a place where we stick together and risk our necks with our own projects. It is a world with others where cooperate rules and struggles would be more than sufficient to take out even the strongest warrior.

I never let myself get too involved with anyone, or anyone to know me too deeply. For I fear my friends. I fear that one day, others may take such information and turn it againts me. I cannot deny the charges of cowardice as indeed I am. I differ from others, I need not the presence of others to strive although I wouldn't mind having them for company most of the time. Maybe things did work out as I planned, no one truly understands me. No one truly knows what goes behind the smile I may portray, the laugh and the jokes I emit. Some came close, while some are far away from the mark while they believe they are locked on to me. I have to say, its interesting to see how far their off.

Only time I ever let down my guard, are the times where I spent with Kent, Fai, Guo Dong and maybe to some extent some of my classmates sometimes. You would definitely ask why? Why them and not you? Why would I keep the mask even if it's infront of you. Why, it is simple my friend, you never gave me a reason to. I've seen most of you work, I've seen most of you in personal times, I have to say, it would make me seem awfully judgemental when I decide you are not worthy for me to let down my mask. I've never intervened things as I have now as I enjoy my 'neutrality' with everyone, but things would take a turn soon, but I doubt that I'll be able to go through everyone tonight maybe in the future... for now,

Dear Wei Xiang, always the one we look up too for direction. There are thing's I've told you in the past, and I've told you rather recently. I hope this time you would truly keep it in mind as I might not be able to remind you of things like this forever. There are many instant I turned to you for advice, I thank you for those times, they helped me alot. Thank you. I know not why the others often chose to follow you. The reason why I'm willing to obey and carry out the task you assign to the best of my abilities is because I believe it would be the best way for me to return the kindness you have done me in the past. Althought I question you and I critize you, I do what I think may make you a better man. I know there are alot of instance where you put my advice and projections far behind even when they prove to be true in the end. Every man make mistakes, even I would make mistakes. It is good you do not take my words as it is, but I do hope you would take them more seriously and not let them fade with the winds.

My respectful Jiunn Heng. You do presume too much about people. About me. The countless times you made my choice for me. Expecting me to skip my thinking skill class expecting me to join you without a doubt. I always let it pass, the furthest I went was to berrate you for a short moment. But remember, even then I still left and headed for you my friend. Would you have done the same? I know what you've said. or what you would think when you have read what I previously posted. I wasn't suprised my your reaction. The retalliation, the defence, the excuses. Let me remind you my friend. I never said you commited of those atrocity I've said. You admited them yourself through your anger and frustration. I have said nothing until now. Hold that in mind before you set yourself in rage again. I hope you would be wiser and be able to see things out of other's perspective in the future.

Ah and Wei Yang, always the one causing strife in other's mind. Yet, you show deep care for everyone of us and would not hesitate to come for anyone of us. Even braving yourself to find out what is wrong with us when we are not feeling up to things. My respect for you my friend. When I posted the last post, I was worried that you would be reading again and again to find some mistake done by you. I do hold fear you might misunderstand and thought my words were meant for you. Thankfully you did not. Thankfully your able to register who they might be meant for. When you asked, I feel that I had the responsibility to share with you as we are all a group of friends.

Dear Kah Fai. Again I have to thank you for your care when I fell with a fever when we are on Fraser Hill. I know you would probably starting to feel annoyed with all the thank you. But it is what I still feel. Ever since we met in Form 1, I have always trusted you deeply. Even after we got into a fight, I felt terrible for losing control and taking out my frustration at you. I remember the day after I looked for you hoping to earn your forgiveness. The time where we got caught playing traunt together, my indifference brought your anger upon me. Shook me out of my devil may care additude it did. If it wasn't for you, I would never be who I am now. I doubt I would even be back at home now. Thank you...

Someone once told me, that I would smile when someone manage to find out something about what I'm thinking or how I think. My first impression was the idea is plainly crazy. but I had a good laugh after thinking about it. I was smiling when I heard her words. It do seem awfully sad, when most of you, my 'close' friends rarely make me smile that way.

P.s. I do realize some of you may be rather unhappy with what I've said before. But I stick with what I've said. I've think before posting it. I know the reprecussion it may follow, I know this would not be different from the last. But alas, it is my choice of action. My apologies